DiSiLlUsIoNeD...

Some things are really not wat pple see on the surface.. it might seem all pretty and colorful on the outside but inside is actually jus an empty shell.. things are deceiving and are usually not wat u see.. When things have changed.. I see things i do not want to see, i find out things i do not want to kn ow.. its hard to reverse things back to the way they were when i was still ignorant and naive (although i tink i atill am).. people come and go and i guess that is part and parcel of life..

Although life is unfair to most pple.. i believe nobody will be a winner forever.. i am still waiting for my chance..

My WoRlD Is BeTtEr...

Today, i found out how fake people can be.. ok maybe not today but it didn't feel good to find out that certain pple might appear to be getting along fine with you and yet behind u they are doing otherwise..

Baby always tell me my thinking of people are not right - i tink everyone is good and most of them do something wrong or bad becos of some reasons and difficulties.. nobodyis really evil and mean.. they jus act in a certain way in that moment of folly...

Guess i am really wrong.. Why do i always try to be nice to everyone? Doreen says nobody will actually bother if you are nice to them..

The world is a very sad place.. i think i rather in my own world..

AwWwWw.....

Its our 1st year anniversary this sun.. baby very sweet... he sent flowers to my office... awwwww... *melt* although a bit pai seh cos everyone looking at me when the delivery man came and passed me e flowers, but inside happy happy oso heh.. this is e 2nd time in my life i am receiving flowers and 1st time from delivery hor heh.. tiam mi mi heh...

show u picture of e flowers...

nice hor heh.. seldom get flowers la let me hao lian can? hehe

PaTiEnCe GoInG DoWn....

It was a hell of a week last week.. been so so busy.. and baby not ard.. my latest record staying back in the office was set last thurs at 9:30pm. I stayed back to do shit stuff like packing for my sat event, and no one bothered to help.. not even my boss.. she left office at very early at 2+ and did not come back already.. du lan ah.. nvm la anyway all my events i pack myself one no one offered to help anyway..

I was "chosen" to be in my company's family day commitee so i had to plan the games and all. went to sentosa twice last week, Wed and Fri to recce...had my last workshop for the year on sat. Watched Little Shop of Horrors on sat night.. not too bad but i would like it more if there were more of the Dim Sum Dollies... had dinner at Newton and they came over my hse play mj.. i lost to all of them.. TMD!.. damned irritated.. tink my patience is going down... thanks to my job

Anyway.. finally had to time to upload some of the photos for Batam..

Early morning in the cab...

at Tanah Merah Ferry Terminal.. quite nice leh.. look like airport heh.. ya la i sua ku nv go before ma

Yes smoking Kills.. and baby and Keli each bought 3 packs for $10.. damn cheap la

before we bosrd the boat...

A photo when we jus stepped onto Batam ground

the boys.. keli tip toeing.. trying to be taller than baby.. tsk..

the boys on the swing...

Pretending we are staying in the villa behind heh..

hmmm.. they are acting funny.. so matching heh

we are more normal heh.. Batam has got an ugly beach

Timer ------ SHOOT!

Ahhh.. Life...

lazing at the pool

eh.. ya the 4 of us...

Ying and Keli in the water..

dinner time!! we had to take a buggy to the restaurant! so fun haha...

huge spread for dinner!...

baby and his coconut...

Spies behind us!!.. on the boat back..

Thats e end of our weekend at Batam.. hmmm.. i wonder where next???

AnOtHeR WeEkEnD GeTaWaY...

This time, it was to Batam.. Everyone knows that Batam is the place to have a mistress. There were many men on the ferry with us.. hmmmm.. wonder where they are headed heh...

We took the 10am ferry to Batam... Ying met with a little accident on the ferry... She fell off the chair she was sitiing on. cos the support of the seat was loose.. quite a funny sight as one moment i saw her e other i heard a loud thud and she was on the floor... gave me fright though.. heng only her butt felt sore..

There was nothing much to do at Batam.. same as Desaru... but the beach at Batam was disappointing.. there was no water in the sea during low tide.. looked very dirty... spent the first few hours there sleeping as fri night we were out celebrating monkey's birthday in a room at Grand Copthorne.. had lunch after the nap and went ard exploring... sat at the beach for a couple of hours den went to the pool to soak.. ahh damn shiok man.. dinner was very good... we had a seafood dinner at their restaurant... we even had a buggy to drive us there heh.. there was fish, chicken, vege, calamari, soup, coconut and CRABS!! hahahahaha i was ready to explode after the meal...

Nothing much to do at night so we got mahjong from the reception.. they sent a mj table, tiles and chairs up to our room.. talk about service man.. it was on rental of cos.. $5/hr.. we bought 9 cans of Heinekin and 2 Guinness from DFS so we had to finish them.. losers must each drink half a glass.. very soon all of us felt like sleeping heh.. we only finished the 2 Guinness and 4 Heinekin..

Next day was spent lazing at the pool again... thats life man.. relaxing and lazing around.. very soon it was time to go home.. sigh.. back to work..

Will upload the photos soon.. left my camera with dear heh.. hope he had fun too.. dear going OBS tomorrow.. nobody accompany me...

MeN ArE AlL SeLfIsH...

We are always taught that Honesty is the Best Policy... I have been so honest with everyone.. but.. maybe it was not a good thing to be honest..

Why would i want to be a good person when i do not get anything good in return? Instead i get bullied and pple climb all over me cos i am good... I should not be so considerate and think so much about others.. its time i spare a thought for myself... Why do everyone think bout themselves first before others? shit wat am i talking about of cos everyone is like dat.. Men are all selfish..

Why am i such a pushover? I am so weak..

HaTe To Be WhErE I Am NoW...

I feel very depressed now... dunno what i should do, where i should go..
Feel like a failure... feel like crying..

WoRdS Of WiSeDoM...

Was at an event my company sponsored last night... I learnt something..

Host: What was the craziest thing you had done?
Speaker: Adultry
Host(shocked): You actually admit to that
Speaker: Ya.... Infant enjoy Infantry... Adults enjoy Adultry!!

Comment of the night man!

SpEeD DaTiNg..

yes.. i went for speed dating.. but not cos i want to go there but Josh wanted us to accompany him there.. so me and ying abandoned our bfs on a fri nite to go speed dating.. I asked Dyann along as well cos i thot she would be interested..
We chose this Jap restaurant at Boat quay as that was the best retaurant on the speed dating menu. We were there only for the food so we had to choose a nice restaurant.

We were late cos there was a jam.. by the time we reached there were already many many pple there.. i was damn hungry and hope they would start dinner soon. We each had a no. i am contestant number 17 and ying 18.. Josh was already there he was sitting there quietly and not making an effort to talk to the girls.. he had that look "why am i here? i am too good for the pple here".. sigh wat are we going to do about him.. dyann on the other hand was doing fine and talking to the person opposite her..

Finally it started at almost 8.. all e girls were suppose to sit on 1 side at their respective numbers. The guys have 3 minutes to talk to every girl before moving on to the next one... When dinner was ready, we stopped to eat and see heng suay who was opposite you and you had to eat dinner with him.. The food was not good at all and i had waited so long before they served dinner that i was not hungry anymore..
i kena a guy who was a nature and i tink i made him lose hope in finding a girl who loves nature.. i was e exact opposite of him... he was white i am tan, he like staying indoors i like going out.. he likes reading i like sports... and he asked me why i was there.. he feels i do not need to be there.. heh thanks for the compliment.. anyways after dinner we had to continue small talking.. I repeated the same old things 25 times.. can u imagine how tired i was.. and i hate making small talk..

From this i found out some statistics..


Men
- About 90% are engineers, Josh is an enginner too heh
- Most of them are in their 30s
- They are either too introverted or too conceited
- Most of them came alone as they dun want their friends to know.... hmmm josh u belong to e girls part

Women
- Most of them are either teachers or accountants (excluding me and ying)
- Most of them are in their late 20s
- They are more normal than the guys
- All came in at least in pairs or a group


We were each given a "dating card"..we had to write the name of all the persons we talked to according to their numbers. There was a column on interested or not interested and another one on polite or not polite. After talking each person we were suppose to indicate if we are interested to get to know that person better.. the organisers collected back the cards after everything and they would consolidate the results.

If i wanted to know a person better i would tick his interested beside his name and if he is also interested in me that would be a mutual match and the organisers would release our contact details to each other. If it is only 1 sided, it is called a strike and no information would be released... so.. me and ying only ticked Josh's name.. i tink the organisers must be thinking we set our standards too high that we were only intereted in 1 candidate.. heh... cos we already have someone already ma haha..

I have never felt so exhausted from talking so much.. but some of them are quite interesting to talk to.. but the process was damn tiring..

And so the reults...

Josh
No. of mutuals: 1 (Its dyann cos they made a pact to choose each other)
No. of strikes:5 (minus me and ying its 3)

Dyann
No. of mutuals: 3
No. of strikes: 7

Ying
No. of mutuals: 0
No. of strikes: 19

Me
No. of mutuals: 0
No. of strikes: 12

And the winner is.. Yinghui!! She is so popular la haha.... at least dyann did better than Josh la

After that we had to go pacify our poor bfs heh..
baby u beat all of them hands down k heh.. no competition at all heh

87 YeArS OLd..

Did many many things over the past weekend.. watched death note with dear on Fri night.. not a bad show and i think there shld be a sequel to it cos there was no ending.. i hate to wait for an ending..

Sat was a very diff one.. I bought movie tickets for my parents to go pak tuo.. they left me the car as they didn't want to park at JP so i went to pick up dear at his damn far and ulu home in Sembawang heh.. stayed there a while and then we went to pick up daddy and mummy for dinner.. We went to The French Stall for dinner.. my mom's self proclaimed god son, Josh came along as well haha.. i haven had sinner with my parents on a sat for very very long so i decided to treat them.. but the cashier look down on my debit card and took my dad's gold card instead.. so me dear and Josh had a free meal heh..

It was too early to go home on a sat and of cos we had second round to go for -- KTV!! yup.. again.. but there were many many pple this time.. besides e usual, pple who rarely joined us were there as well as new faces haha.. there were 11 of us.. and of cos at ktv there will definitely be lots of beer... the more pple e more e beer.. I left at 130 as Josh had to study the next day so we shared cab but up till e time we left i tink we had already ordered 15 jugs!! yes,.. they are drinking addicts.. Sometimes i dunno why we go ktv..

1. We dun need the mike to sing as we sing so loudly we are louder than the person on the mike
2. We always sing e same old songs.. but isn't everyone like dat? heh

3. I tink we spend more time playing game and forcing each other to drink rather than sing..

4. We always play dice there and it is so loud nobody actually notices who is singing

5. Making other pple drink and get drunk seem to be our objective of being there rather than sing..

yup but we still go all the time.. and its really quite fun.. although its damn ex..and some of them are really crazy..

Anyways sun me and dear spent most of e day sleeping.. we woke up at 12+, ate lunch and went back to nap at 3.. woke up at 5, bathed and went home to pick ah gong up for his birthday dinner heh... my ah gong celebrating his 87th birthday..

the birthday boy heh..

We had seafood at alexander.. e food was damn slow.. we were all dying of hunger.. so we ended up taking photos heh...

mummy and daddy.. they going holiday again.. dat means i get e car heh...

me and dear taking our fav "neo print" shots

fugene look so fierce.. not happy i take his picture ah heh..

e sisters trying to take picture with e hp..

why is da jie covering my ears??

HUNGRY!!!! and the food finally came.. we always eat the same old stuff but how can there not be cereal prawn and chilli crabs?? heh.. too bad jie fu not there so we da bao for him heh..

There was still 2nd round at home.. heh we got a cake for ah gong... Happy Birthday to ah gong!!

The cake shop gave us 15 candles.. 8 big ones and 7 small ones.. too many for ah gong to blow so we only put 1 big and 1 small one.. as u can count, my ah gong is already 87 and still going strong heh.. he so cute still pose for the camera..

da jie say she look pretty in this photo.. errr tink she is narcissistic... and she is blocking me!

my mom look like she acting cute heh.. she pai seh cos she wearing her pyjamas heh...

yay!! heh.. still gotta eat the cake... damn full already..

Happy Birthday ah gong!!!

I Am FaT...

Went to the gym in my condo with 2 of my colleagues yesterday.. i feel damn fat.. sitting down and eating and sitting and eating all day make my tummy flabby and my butt big.. Tink i got a line on my tummy cos it folds when i am sitting down.. yes it is dat bad.. and it doesn't help that dear bought me so much snacks and choco to put in the office in case i get hungry.. you are ruining my previously skinny body!!! Of cos i will eat it cos dear buy for me one ma... so ya thats why i am trying to go to the gym once a week.. not very successful though..

Only spent half an hr in the gym and we ate damn alot for dinner cos we were so hungry.. the 3 of us had 1 mee pattaya, 4 prata, 1 naan 1 mutton soup, and a milo dinosaur each!! think exercising makes us fat.. the amt we eat in is so much more than that we lost.. plan backfired

I Am RaFfLeS ThE PlAzA...

Everyone knows where is Swissotel, previously known as Westin.. Beside Swissotel is another hotel a very much shorter one.. the one with Pfgo and ink club... Yes there is another hotel there jus that no one notices it in comparison to Swissotel..

Raffles the Plaza... Always being overshadowed and unnoticed.. all the, attention glamour and limelight is goes to Swissotel..


I am Raffles the Plaza...

FeEl LiKe DyInG...

Its a sat nite at about 9pm... i am sitting in my living room alone.. no one is at home... dun feel like going out.. dun feel well..
cannot talk properly cos my tongue is swollen from a huge ulcer,
feel piercing pain in my tummy ocassionally,
my head is killing me with persistent aching
and now my nose is starting to drip...
waiting for my baby to da bao dinner for me later.. but he will only be here bout 11+.. not hungry anyway... 2 more hours.. where is my baby?

think gonna rub salt into my wound.. hope will exterminate the ulcer... OUCH!!!!

We WeNt On A DaTe....

back to work today... yeah! took leave yesterday to pak toh with baby heh.. so shiok no need to work.. feels like i am back being a student again... its been a long time since i went to town and on a weekday morning.. wish i was still studying and going out as and when i like with no work burden... sigh but baby said that if we are not working it will be damn sian oso.. and its cos we are working thats why we treasure the rare occasions like these where we can go out on dates heh..

We watched The Host at the bew cathay and i even got $2 for being a SMU student hehe.. ya ex student but they never bao tou me so i dun care heh.. so yeah we watch $6 movie yesterday heh.. didn't really do much.. but i was very happy jus spending time with my baby.. seldom do we get such chances and he is going end his course soon and down to the hangar to start real work soon.. so he is gonna be very busy and no time for me as he even gotta work on weekends... gonna be have to entertain myself...

Oli is injured cos Ruffles bit him.. he is wearing some plastic funnel looking thing on his neck to stop him from scratching himself.. so poor thing he kept knocking into things.. and into me as well... he dun even dare to climb the stairs... anyway didn't get a good night sleep cos ruffles kept waking me up with his scratching licking and whining... sleepy now..

Happy 10th Month baby!!

My NePhEwS....

Yes.. i know they are dogs..

Yun with Oli

Yun With Ruffles..

Ruffles has big paws... big paws means??... hehe

Awwwww.....

food does wonders...

sooooooo cute....

WhY?

We have a very weird relationship...
we seem close but yet not..
Feels like there is something between us
or something missing...
Thought about this for years
but no conclusion..

Things seems different lately
not for the better though..
but the same old feeling is still there..

Sometimes i feel guilty for certain feelings
but i can't help it
There is only so much i can take

its not cos of anyone else..
it just me...

InTrOdUcInG.....

My sisters dogs...

Ruffles!! and Oli in e backgroud heh..

blown up pic... heh damn cute rite heh..

AsK FoR MoRE???

Sometimes i wonder why do people have so high expectations? The more you expect, the greater your disappointment when things dun go ur way... if you do get ur way, ur expectations would be even higher e next time... so wats e point in expecting so much?

I am not saying we should jus take wat comes along and not work hard, rather we should be happy with wat we have as long as we feel we had tried our best and no regrets with the outcome.. maybe that way Singapore would be a less stressful place and we would get enjoy life as we live it...

Have we ever thought that we expect so much from others, others might be expecting e same from us? Think we gotta think about ourselves first before setting a standard for others...

Actually i am in quite a good place already...
a great family,
a doting bf,
many good friends,
not a bad job,
enough money to spend,
a car to drive (though not mine heh)

so why am i still always complaining?.. guess its our nature as well.. always not satisfied

AlOnE...

quite sian today.. went to butter factory to celebrate cas's birthday last nite but didn't get to see much of her anyway.. left quite early as i gotta work today.. and dear going kukup today with his colleagues.. leave me alone here.. gonna miss u baby...

actually had a full day planned as dear is not ard so i must occupy all my time cos no one accompany me heh but... sigh some problems and end up now only me sy, her bf, felicia and her bf.. and i am alone, boyfriendless and a huge lightbulb la.. sigh.. but its ok.. alone den alone lo heh.. i can take care of myself.. jus dat damn sian.. hate to have pple last min pang seh one..

Yesterday was a damn suay day la.. we went to the triumph warehouse sale at Jalan peminpin.. we turned into the small road and stopped at the side of the road for a while deciding where to psrk as there were so many pple there for e sale. There was this huge truck which was going to turn out... he turned too close to sy's car and it hit her rear, cracking her brake lights and scraping her paint job.. tink the driver did not realise and drove off. We were damn stunned la.. for no reason this huge lorry knocked into us and drove off.. and he knocked the side i was sitting at.. if he had knocked inner. might have gotten me.. and i haven buy insurance yet!! Think i am a very suay person so maybe i hai her car to be knocked.. cos i sitting inside ma..

oh wells.. we still went for the sale where i bought 7 bras and a few underwear.. damn cheap la jus dats it was so hot and crowded...

went to make a police report after dat at clementi.. e only good thing was we were slacking during office hrs.. e police took a damn long time to write e report.. tink he likes sy so he was trying to keep her there longer heh.. no lunch and back to the office at 4... exciting day but in a bad way heh..

Still tink maybe its cos if my bad luck and caused her accident..

BuSy LiKe A BeE....

as you can guess from my title i am too tied up with things to write bout anything.. stole some time jus before 6 to write a few lines heh..

Lots of work to do
Permed my hair finally!! heh
wanna go on another holiday!!

baby so poor thing got test coming and alot to study.. too bad i can't help u.. u jus gotta study hard ya heh.. i support u mentally heh...

JuSt My LuCk...

Everyone says life is unfair and i agree with that.. but how does life chooses who gets lucky and who doesn't? why am i always e unlucky one? i dun deny that i do get lucky once in a while but geenerally i am a very very suay person.

Whatever i wan to achieve i can never depend on luck. To get wat i wan i can only depend on myself and my hard work.. why can't good things jus fall from the sky for me like for other pple? Maybe if that was so i might not treasure wat i have now. I guess that's wat mould me into wat i am today... many pple say i am a workaholic. but if i dun work hard i can never achieve wat i wan... i cannot jus sit and wait for opportunities to come knocking at my door, cos they never do... i gotta go out and search and work for my opportunity. Sometimes i really wiah life was a little easier on me.

To me, its like playing mahjiong. Most of the time i lose. That's my life.. can never depend on luck. In a round of mahjiong, i usually only win 1 or 2 times. My tiles are always ugly when i open them. I love to play big at mj cos it makes me feel accomplish if i really hu... i always have to build my tiles up cos they never pretty when i open them. almost everyone round i make my tiles up to be so nice and jus waiting for the last winning tile but it seldom comes to me... someone else would definitely complete b4 me... Once in a while i would win with a small, 1 or 2 tai.. but overall i lose most of the time.

Its like my life.. i do get lucky sometimes.. but i lose overall... i always get bullied or i am always unlucky... why can't lady luck shine more on me? Do i really not deserve it? I am generally a very normal and good person but why can't good pple get good returns? Why am i always being overshadowed by others? Am i really such a pushover? I dun wan to be down my whole life..

Sometimes i really tink life and luck has forgotten about me.. jus like how most pple tend to not take notice of me.. am i really so insignificant? why can't i be lucky too? its damn tiring to keep trying and trying and yet i am not appreciated or nothing comes in return for me.. How come some people get what they wan so easily? they dun have to work hard for it and it jus comes landing on their lap nicely for them..

However if i have to give up something in return for something good to happen, i rather work for it. At least i know i have a great family and also a bf who loves me and is very good to me.. Probably working hard to achieve something would make me feel more accomplished and i would treasure it more...

I lead a dog's life... fated to work hard my whole life... all i wish is to be happy and get my fair share in life....

=(

I tink the world works in a very amazing way.. most people believe that things happen for a reason and i too believe in that.. I met you for a reason..

i also believe in karma.. never do things to others that u would not want others to do to u... i believe i once did something to someone and now its my turn to experience it.. that's karma..

Yesterday u said something to me.. it made me very upset and disappointed.. only say such words when u mean it or do u actually mean it?

My WeEkEnD ReNdEzVoUs To DeSaRu....

Its mon back to work.... jus took a short weekend getaway to Desaru with dear... nothing much there... jus tanning, swimming, eating and relaxing... we took e 10am ferry and reached there b4 1130am..

At the ferry terminal... last time can drive over?? i dunno to where cos e road leads out into e sea loh..

Could not check in when we reached cos e others haven checked out yet... nothing to do we took a stroll along e beach and tried to tan ourselves..

at the beach heh...

Trying to tan ourselves at the beach but e weather wasn't very good.. disappointing.. went for lunch after lying there for less than an hour... failed to get a good tan.



We finally got to check in at 2pm.. e room was huge! haha there was a big bed with lots of walking space ariund the room... even a walk in closet, a balcony to sit outside and enjoy the scenery (and of cos for dear to smoke!).. e bathroom was very big as well.. a washing area, standing shower as well as a bath tub haha.. they had hair dryer too!!!




Our 2nd attempt to bake ourselves.. by e swimming pool heh... but not very successful again due to e weather again!!... me and dear entertaining ourselves while tanning heh... ya and dear took picture of my butt!!!

bascially we spent the 2 days relaxing and resting heh damn shiok la....
some pictures of e resort...



The swimming pool has no ending.. looks like e beach heh..







If you enjoy doing nothing and jus lazing ard can consider Desaru as a quick weekend getaway...

Hope i will have more trips with dear before he becomes too busy for me next year..